Episode 3 arrives. Behold: A Picturesque Slab of Concrete. This is the RE talent show. A bunch of characters stop by the studio to perform. Among the highlights:
- Our sensitive singer-songwriter, Philip Jenkins, sings about love. Who would have guessed?
- Frank assumes the role of Central Scrutinizer.
- Tad interviews Seamus and Sean Patrick from Niagara Cadabra. The band plays a sea shanty of phallic proportions.
- Proposition 487: It all seemed so simple.
- Guests of Radio Encendido stay at Lucky Trousers Motor Lodge.
- Fritter Hampton performs his classic song “Do You Feel Like a Donut?” The crowd goes wild. Then rock and roll dies.
- Liston does feel like a donut. He just can’t get his hands on one.
- Leon receives an angry phone call from Hagatha the Closure-dactyl.
- Cody Duckwater sings a spaghetti Western about alien abduction.
- Gongs, gongs, gongs.
- Frank interviews the Vagetarians. Chaos ensues.
- Liston’s band stops by to perform “Public Radio Is Funky.”
- The employees of Super Mega Guitar Universe Las Vegas play us out.
- Cortez and Nugget sweep up.
This show first aired Saturday, August 3, 2019.
Full Transcript
1. “Delicious Wishes,” by Philip Jenkins
Studio Cat: Meow.
Philip Jenkins: My name is Philip Jenkins? And this is a love song that I wrote?
Studio Cat: Meow.
Philip: About love? So, um, here goes.
Studio Cat: Meow.
Philip:
Love
Secret and delicious
You’re the woman of my wishes
[Gong]
Philip: Oh.
Studio Cat: Meow.
Frank Covington: This is no way to begin the Radio Encendido talent show. While you may just hear a bad singer, I hear the sound of people changing the station. Is there anyone out there with any actual talent?
2. Newsbreak 1
Tad Grundle: This is Tad Grundle . . . uh, Grund-lay—Hey!—with a Radio Encendido newsbreak. Here are the top stories we’re working on at this hour:
· Proposition 487 unites people from both sides of the aisle.
· And . . . we’ll hear from a group of plucky seven-year-olds who are studying guitar.
· Also, kittens: What are they good for?
· And . . . is a flesh-eating bacterium invading our water supply, threatening human life as we know it?
I’ve got all the details tonight at eleven, only on Radio Encendido News.
3. Tad Interviews Niagara Cadabra
Tad: Joining me now are Seamus and Sean Patrick from the band Niagara Cadabra. Hey, fellas.
Sean Patrick: Hi, Tad.
Seamus: Big fan of your work.
Tad: Of course. We’re glad to have you. This is a big time for Niagara Cadabra, right? You have a new record coming out.
Sean Patrick: That’s right. In the past, we’ve written a lotsa songs about drinkin’ and fightin’. Now we’re really pushin’ ourselves artistically.
Seamus: This time we’ve also written a bunch of songs about gals and boats. We’re very proud of the record. It’s called Any Port Will Do.
Tad: Ooh. Batten my hatches.
Seamus: If ya like what ya hear—[drinks, drinks, belches]—you can catch us at the Irish Center. We’ll be there this Friday.
Sean Patrick: And Saturday.
Seamus: And if you’re busy this weekend, we’ll be there again next weekend.
Sean Patrick: We’ll be at the Irish Center pretty much every weekend for the rest of our lives.
Seamus: It’s not like us to turn down free Guinness.
Sean Patrick: Or sixty-five bucks—each.
Tad: Sixty-five big ones for tickling your strings? Wowza. This song you’re going to play us, “The Virga,” it’s really a celebration of the masculine essence. Wouldn’t you say?
Sean Patrick: Em . . . I suppose that’s one way you could put it.
Tad: Fabulicious. Here they are: Niagara Cadabra.
Seamus: [Away from mic] Ready, lads?
Niagara Cadabra: Aye!
Seamus: One, two, tree.
4. “The Virga,” by Niagara Cadabra
I see ya standin’ at the docks a-wavin’ out your hand
Lovely ladies line up for to meet a sailorman
No need to push or fight, lass; there’s time for one and all
And when we thrust into your port, we’re sure to have a ball
Everybody wants to know about this sailin’ life
Ya must give up your house, and ya must give up your wife
The wages aren’t so great, but we garner many a tale
And when the husbands come a-runnin’, well, it’s time for settin’ sail
Chorus 1
In and out of port
From one harbor to the next
The gals who keep a secret
Are the gals that we like best
We’ve sailed the seven seas,
And we’ve crossed the ocean blue
And if you fancy seamen,
Then we got the boat for you
All right, boys
Swab the poop deck
Let’s raise the mast
Hold on to something
(Heave, ho)
There’s a swell a-comin’
(Heave, ho)
Raise it up
A little more
(Heave, ho)
Higher
Just the tip
(Heave, ho)
That’s it
There she blows
Climb aboard the Virga
Gang: Tis a mighty sailing ship
Stocked with whiskey barrels
Gang: And a penicillin drip
Rocephin piled high
Gang: And azithromycin too
And once I get meself cleared up
Gang: I’m comin’ for you
We ready for the night, and we push off from the shore
Guided by a walloping compass always pointed north
Aye, the sailin’ life, boys, driftin’ wild and free
From Callao to Singapore you’ll find kids who look like me
Chorus 2
In and out of town
From one nation to another
We’ve known a lot of girls
And we’ve turned them into mothers
We’ve sailed the seven seas,
And we’ve crossed the ocean blue
And if you fancy seamen,
Then we got the boat for you
Chorus 3
In and out of port
From one harbor to the next
The gals who keep a secret
Are the gals that we like best
We’ve sailed the seven seas,
And we’ve crossed the ocean blue
And if you fancy seamen,
Then the Virga is for you
Yeah, if you fancy seamen,
Then the Virga is for you
Gord McDonald: “Free Bird!” [Runs outside, puking]
5. Spots 1
TG: Radio Encendido is brought to you by . . .
6. The Stop and Park and Fill Your Cart, 1: Love Lost
Eugene Chapman: The Stop and Park and Fill Your Cart and Pay and Leave.
Everybody has loved and lost. It’s just a fact of life. At the Stop and Park and Fill Your Cart and Pay and Leave, we can’t reunite you with the one who got away. But we do have a whole lot of food you can eat. That will bring you temporary solace from those feelings of emptiness and sorrow, regret and unworthiness.
Food like . . . sausage potpie; barbeque pork rinds; vintage deep-fried mayonnaise balls; sea-salt whole milk; cracked-pepper vinegar cannoli; whipped-lard ice cream; succulent chitlins; month-old croissants; pickled goat liver; frozen deconstructed pizza hexagons; Sultry Earl’s buttermilk lemon sandwiches; licorice rib-eye; smoked moth-ball pâté; burnt butterless toast; sautéed beanie; soggy, grease-filled elephant ears—which aren’t actually elephant ears but are still soggy and grease filled; gluten-free, sugar-free, nutless boiled tarantula cookies; funless unfunneled cakes; freeze-dried lady fingers—which aren’t actually ladies’ fingers but are frozen and dried.
You name it. We’ve got it. Best of all, we’re open twenty-four hours. We’d never turn our backs on you.
The Stop and Park and Fill Your Cart and Pay and Leave: because eating makes you feel better—for now.
The Stop and Park Singers: You should have told her how you felt.
7. Tyler Taylor’s Landscaping
TG: And by Tyler Taylor’s Landscaping.
Tyler Taylor: Hey, me and my friend can make your yard look, like, really good . . . for three dollars?
8. Proposition 487: Pro
TG: And by Citizens for Proposition Four-Eighty-Seven.
In these uncertain and divisive times, it’s comforting to know there’s something we can all get behind—and that something is Proposition Four-Eighty-Seven.
Prisha Umeria Shravya: Any real American would vote yes for Proposition Four-Eighty-Seven.
Maombi: Nowadays, people just fight over politics—not like before, when we all agreed on what was best for the country. It’s time for a better way. It’s time for Proposition Four-Eighty-Seven.
Boris: I’m natural born follower. I feel better about myself when I’m part of big group of people who tell me what to do. I love Proposition Four-Eighty-Seven. I vote one time. Ah. I vote two times. Ah, ah. I vote all times. Ah, ah, ah.
Diwata: I’m voting yes for Proposition Four-Eighty-Seven. For our childrens. For our country. For a better tomorrow.
Hagatha the Closure-dactyl: Leon!
TG: Paid for by Citizens for Proposition Four-Eighty-Seven.
9. Lucky Trousers Motor Lodge, 1: Hate Yourself
Delilah: Guests of Radio Encendido stay at Lucky Trousers Motor Lodge, voted the dirtiest room in Las Vegas. You can stay all night, but why would you?
Lucky Trousers: You’ll hate yourself, and so will we.
[Whip crack]
10. Liston Interviews Fritter Hampton
Liston McDermott: This is Liston McDermott, and I am here with a true rock and roll legend: Mr. Fritter Hampton.
Fritter Hampton: —
Liston: Aw, I knew you was gonna say that. Also joining us is Fritter’s tour manager . . .
Gar Gargle: Mm. Gar.
Liston: Mm. Gar.
Gar: Mm. Gar Gargle.
Liston: OK. Well, when I think of a timeless recording—a real document of a moment in rock and roll history—I always think of your amazing concert record, Hampton Crumbs Alive.
Fritter: —
Gar: —
Liston: One recurring theme on the record is pastries. How they’re good. And tasty. And decadent.
Fritter: —
Gar: —
Liston: I suppose you probably have a lot of them on your tour bus. You know . . . éclairs, crullers, maybe donut holes?
Fritter: —
Gar: —
Liston: Oh right, yeah, sure, but I mean . . . I suppose I was . . . I was just askin’ for my niece. She’s writin’ a paper on them, and I think it would be informative if, um, she could see one up close. I mean, I could even take it to her. You know? There won’t be any problems.
Fritter: . . .
Liston: Now you’re on tour again, and you’re playing Hampton Crumbs Alive in its entirety. That must be very exciting for you, donut-free and all.
Fritter: —
Gar: —
Liston: All right. Ladies and gentlemen, here to play his classic song “Do You Feel Like a Donut,” Radio Encendido is proud to present the one, the only Fritter Hampton.
11. “Do You Feel Like A Donut?” by Fritter Hampton
Do you feel
Do you feel
Like a donut, baby?
That’s all right
That’s all right
Like a donut
We had a good time
We had a donut
We had some donuts, baby
We had some donuts
Donuts
My donuts
Eat my donuts tonight, baby
Help me
Oh won’t you help me?
Oh won’t you help me?
Do you feel like a donut?
Do you feel like a donut?
Cletus O’Swamply: “Free Bird!”
12. Angry Phone Call from a Pterodactyl
PM: Radio Encendido presents “Angry Phone Call from a Pterodactyl.”
[Phone rings]
Leon: Hey, this is Leon.
Hagatha the Closure-dactyl: Leon!
Leon: Uh. You gotta stop . . . you can’t . . . you gotta stop calling.
Hagatha the Closure-dactyl: Leon!
Leon: You gotta move on. It’s been like fourteen years.
Hagatha the Closure-dactyl: Leon!
Leon: It feels like an ice age.
Hagatha the Closure-dactyl: Leon!
Leon: Look: we’re not getting back into Tijuana. I gotta go.
Hagatha the Closure-dactyl: Leo—
PM: This has been “Angry Phone Call from a Pterodactyl.”
Hagatha the Closure-dactyl: Closure!
13. Newsbreak 2
Tad: This is Tad Grund-lay with a Radio Encendido newsbreak. Here are the top stories we’re working on at this hour:
· Bloodshed and chaos as protesters clash over Proposition Four-Eight-Seven.
· And . . . mauve, chartreuse, fuchsia: What do these words mean?
· Also, the tomato: fruit or vegetable? We’ll take a closer look at an issue ripe for debate.
· But wait. There’s more. Connecticut: our fifth state—or a sinister conspiracy? We’ll hear from one group of concerned citizens who insist Connecticut does not exist and is certainly flat.
All that and more, tonight at—is that a piece of corn in my ear? No. Well, it sounds like corn. No, it’s nothing—eleven, only on Radio Encendido News.
14. Sam Interviews Cody Duckwater
Liston: Hey, Sam, your interview is waiting.
Sam Samson: My interview? Someone wants to interview yours truly?
Liston: Well, no. I mean your interviewee is waiting. It’s Cody Duckwater.
Sam: Uh, Cody Duckwater you say. I didn’t know I was supposed to speak with anyone.=
Sam: Uh, Cody Duckwater you say. I didn’t know I was supposed to speak with anyone.
Liston: And I thought I was gonna get a donut. You remember that weird UFO guy who sued the . . . UFO? Yeah, he’s out there. His band too.
Sam: Oh. OK. Well, here goes.
Cody: And what do you suppose I saw on my windshield? A ticket. For parking in one of them there handicapped squares. I am mentally handicapped, and I got the court documents to prove it. I’m gonna find that meter fairy and—
Sam: Uh, excuse me. Um . . .
Cody: Shut your face hole. [To the band] One, dos, tres.
15. “The Legend of Skeet Pritineer,” by Cody Duckwater
Cody:
This is a tale about my dog, Mr. Skeet Pritineer
Unplug yer telly, and y’all listen here
Them thumb-skulled aliens’ tractor beams went trespassin’ on mah easement
They scooped me up and left poor ol’ Skeet behind with nuthin’ but leftover vittles and mah backhoe for many a fortnight
Scrub Canyon Singers:
Ol’ Skeet was only skin and bones
When the light came, he was alone
Standing taller than most men know
Now his collar rests down below
Cody:
What in the smarmy tabernacle of soggy taquitos is a-goin’ on?
Where did those other fellers’ voices come from?
Thissuns my story to tell, you guineas!
Don’t you sing about ol’ Skeet Pritineer!
He wuz mah Wheel of Fortune pardner!
Skeet: Arf
Scrub Canyon Singers:
That welfare check, it did not come
There was no grub for ol’ Skeet’s tum
When that TV static did rise,
So did ol’ Skeet, up to the skies
Hoo
Haa
Cody:
Wait just a gol’derned instant here!
I told y’all to get off my premises
Quit yer quippin’ on ol’ Skeet!
Wait, uh, hold on just a wink. There wuz an extra check got signed?
Scrub Canyon Singers:
Now ol’ Skeet was way up above
But no owner was spoken of
As they returned him to his home,
Aliens sat Skeet on their throne
Cody:
Tarnation ’n toad hackles!
That’s me they’re singin’ about! Then whose ribs was these?
Get yer own melody, you cactus waffles!
I’ll dial up mah lawyer!
Lady Justice’s wallet knows no limits!
Scrub Canyon Singers:
The aliens had their new king
Benevolence with canine bling
Much wiser than that haggard tool
Skeet was the leader taken to
Cody:
You ramshackle disembodied varmint huggers!
How dare you do a key change on me?
I ain’t haggard! I’ll find you ’n fisti-yer-cuffs!
You just wait ’til I fire up mah new hemi!
Scrub Canyon Singers:
Ha, ha! You cannot get to us
We were installed in your noggin
By King Skeet’s mandate, you loser
Also we have your welfare check
Cody:
That last one didn’t even rhyme, you pickled goat’s teats!
I’m comin’ up there
Scrub Canyon Singers:
[Laughter]
Overlord Skeet freed us from rhymes
We think we’ll take up the haiku
Cody:
You can’t stop mah song without my consent! I’ll sue y’all again!
Scrub Canyon Singers:
Ha, ha, you can’t. Double jeopardy
[Gong]
Skeet: Arf
Cody: You can’t gong me. What’s goin’ on in this place? I paid some good money . . .
Frank: In a word . . . no.
Cody: Get your hands off me, you jackrabbit snugglin’, varmit huggin’ . . . come on. I got three more hours with this band. Oh lord.
16. Southwest Haiku Workshop: Work
Sam: And now a reading from Southwest Haiku Workshop. This week: work.
Chuck Tinkler: This is “The Urine Recycler.”
Recycling urine
Become a doctor, Ma said
But look at me now
[Rainstick]
Dusty Slade: This is “Make Tracks.”
All the livelong day
Been working on the railroad
And now I’m thirsty
[Rattle]
Clarence Proctor: This is “The Dentist.”
Teeth yearn to be drilled
Preclude cavities or else
Chair straps will be locked
[Power drill]
Joe Lackawanna: This is “The Job.”
Work: that’s what you do
When nobody will pay you
To do what you love
[Frog güiros]
Guy Remington: This is “Rodeo Clown.”
In barrels I hide
El toro hunts my abode
Psych degree wasted
[Cajón]
Frank Covington: This is Frank Covington, formerly of Radio Encendido News, and this is “Resignation.”
For years I worried
About every little word
Then I said, “I quit.”
17. “Abandoned by Love,” by Philip Jenkins
Philip: Abandoned by love
[Gong]
Frank: Mr. Jenkins, I have already gonged you once. Stop playing your guitar.
Philip: Oh.
Frank: Not just now but forever.
18. Frank Interviews the Vagetarians
Frank: Our Radio Encendido talent show continues. Joining us now are—
Flora Borealis: Flora Borealis.
Labias Maximus: And I’m Labias Maximus.
Frank: Oh dear. And your band is . . . uh, our next band is called . . .
Flora: The Vagetarians.
Frank: [Clears throat]
Labias: We are the Vagetarians, and we’ve come to destroy the patriarchy and everything associated with it.
Flora: Including this radio station.
Frank: I see. And how long have you been a band?
Labias: Five weeks.
Flora: And I just wanna make it clear right now that we’re only answering these questions because we want to.
Labias: Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
Flora: Not because you have any power or influence over us whatsoever.
Labias: Mm-hm. Because you don’t.
Frank: Right. Well—
Labias: [Mocking] “Right, well” . . . you want to know how we got into music. I used to be a poet, but I found with music I can inflict my poetry on way more people.
Flora: And I’m not gonna tell you how I got into music because it’s none of your damn business.
Labias: So today we’re gonna play one of our biggest hits.
Seamus: [Away from mic] Oh, please. You ain’t got no hits. Oh.
Niagara Cadabra: [Laughs]
Labias: What?
Flora: What did you say? What did you say to me?
Labias: Come here and say it to our face.
Niagara Cadabra: Oooh.
Seamus: I said . . . [Walks up to mic] . . . I said you ain’t got no hits. Not one. Show us your hits.
Niagara Cadabra: Show us your hits! Show us your hits!
Frank: This is Frank Covington with Radio Encendido News. Niagara Cadabra is heckling the . . . um, the punk band.
Flora: [Breaks bottle] Oh, we’ll show you some hits, fat boy.
Labias: Get ’em!
[Melee erupts]
Flora: One, two, three, four!
19. “If You Don’t Love My Pussycat,” by the Vagetarians
If you wanna be my girl,
Let’s get one thing straight
You gotta get on all fours
After every date
Chorus 1
If you don’t love my pussy cat,
There’s nothing more to say
You can pack your bag
And be on your way
You can say I’m the cat lady
You can call me names
You can tell everyone you know I’ve got
Toxoplasma on the brain
Chorus 2
But if you don’t love my pussy cat,
There’s nothing more to say
You can pack your bag
And be on your way
Chorus 3
If you can’t make her purr,
There’s nothing more to tell
I hope she claws your eyeballs
And, baby, you can go to hell
Aaaaahhhhhhh!
20. Spots 2
Lucky Trousers Motor Lodge, 2: Cockroaches
Delilah: Guests of Radio Encendido stay at Lucky Trousers Motor Lodge, situated on a picturesque slab of concrete on East Fremont Street in historic downtown Las Vegas.
Lucky Trousers features hourly rates, one TV channel, and a wide variety of cockroaches. And every room has a fluorescent light bulb that emits a sixty-cycle hum.
Get lucky at Lucky Trousers Motor Lodge, voted the filthiest room in Las Vegas.
You know you want to.
[Zip]
[Siren, motorcycle]
TG: Radio Encendido is brought to you by . . .
21. The Stop and Park and Fill Your Cart and Pay and Leave, 2: Online Looting
Eugene: The Stop and Park and Fill Your Cart and Pay and Leave. We were the first supermarket to offer online shopping. Just place your order and come on in to pick it up. Now we’re leading the way again. At the Stop and Park, we’re proud to offer online looting.
That’s right: in the event of civil unrest, race war, or extraterrestrial invasion, just use our handy mobile app to tell us which items you would like to steal from our store. When it all blows over, we’ll deliver your bounty. It’s just that easy.
No need for tire irons or messy Molotov cocktails. No need to inhale teargas or run off for sutures. Simply leave us alone, and we’ll appease you with alcohol, cigarettes, and scratch-off lottery tickets—or a three-pound brisket. Whatever you want. Just leave us alone and it’s yours.
Online looting, with our new app, the Cease and Desist and Drop Your Crowbars and Go Home and Take a Xanax and Sleep . . . another first from your friends at the Stop and Park and Fill Your Cart and Pay and Leave.
After all, we are friends, aren’t we?
The Stop and Park Singers: We’re only frightened if you’re armed.
22. Proposition 487: Con
TG: You’d have to be an utter and complete mouth-breathing, scum-sucking scumbag moron to vote yes for Proposition Four-Eight-Seven.
Prisha Umeria Shravya: Any real American would vote no for Proposition Four-Eight-Seven.
Maombi: Nowadays, people just fight over politics—not like before, when we all agreed on what was best for the country. It’s time for a better way. It’s time to defeat Proposition Four-Eight-Seven.
Boris: I’m natural born follower. I feel better about myself when I’m part of big group of people who tell me what to do. I hate Proposition Four-Eight-Seven. I vote no times.
Diwata: Proposition Four-Eight-Seven threatens all that we as Americans hold sacred. It will bring an end not only to our great nation but to human life everywhere—and to most aardvarks.
TG: Paid for by Citizens to defecate on Proposition Four-Eight-Seven.
23. The Winner Is
Tad: All right, everyone, it’s the moment you’ve been waiting for: today’s big, juicy winner of the Radio Encendido talent show. Destinee, the envelope, please.
[Destinee walks across the studio]
Niagara Cadabra: [Cat calls]
Frank: All right, Niagara Cadabra. That will be enough of that. The drumroll, please.
[Snare roll]
Frank: The winner of the Radio Encendido talent show is . . . ha, ha, they should make these easier to open . . . and the winner is . . . Canty Jonelocker.
Crowd: [Boos, protests]
Frank: Ah, yes, well, Canty Jonelocker did not appear on today’s show but is still far more talented than the losers who did.
Crowd: [Boos, protests]
Frank: This concludes our—
Crowd: [Raspberry]
Frank: This concludes our Radio Encendido talent—
Liston: [Clears throat]
Frank: . . . talent show—
Liston: [Clears throat]
Frank: What is it now?
Liston: [Clears throat]
Sam: Uh, Liston, is everything OK there, buddy?
Liston: Well, I was just thinking maybe I could sing a little song today for everyone.
Sam: Oh. Sing a song?
Liston: Just a little bit, yeah.
Sam: Oh. I didn’t know you were musically . . . you have talents beyond just radio and arm wrestling?
Liston: I dabble. I dabble with the musical arts, and I just, I brought a few . . . just some friends along.
Sam: Oh.
Liston: Maybe play, play a little bit of something for you guys.
Sam: Why, this would be delightful.
Liston: Oh, right. Well, I mean, if you’re asking, that’s . . . OK, sure. Uh, fellas, maybe line it up here. Let’s go.
24. “Public Radio Is Funky,” by Steam Pistons and the Rowdy Crowd
Huh, two, hit me
Get up
Jump on back
And hit me in my face
Woo
Right in my face
It’s the Rowdy Crowd
Rowdy Crowd: Yeah
Public radio is funky
The Jaetones: Ooh
Ira Glass is funky
The Jaetones: Ooh
Robert Siegel is funky
The Jaetones: Ooh
With the Click and Clack
Gonna watch your back
Terry Gross, so funky
The Jaetones: She’s funky
Ira Flatow is funky
The Jaetones: He’s funky
Audie Cornish is funky
The Jaetones: Funky, funky
Sarah Vowell, so funky
Tad Grundle
Tad: Hey
Is funky
The Jaetones: Oh so funky
Tad: Funky
Frank Covington is funky
The Jaetones: He’s not funky
Frank: This is Frank Covington. I am not funky.
Oh, I’m gonna kiss myself
Shut your mouth
So nasty
Hey, Rowdy Crowd
Rowdy Crowd: Yeah
Bring your pistons
We’re going to the bridge
Rowdy Crowd: Yeah
Should we take ’em to the bridge?
Rowdy Crowd: Yeah
Oh, yeah, let’s take ’em to the bridge
Rowdy Crowd: Yeah
Bring it on around now
Bridge
Lift from your knees
The Jaetones: Do the squats
Not at your waist
The Jaetones: No back pain
Take a three-day weekend
The Jaetones: Staycation
Jump on up
The Jaetones: Get on down
And break the bricks
The Jaetones: Flower power
Oww
No more Mondays
The Jaetones: So wrong it’s right . . .
So wrong it’s right
So wrong
Just hit me in my face
The Jaetones: In the face
Punch me in my teeth
The Jaetones: In the teeth
Hit me in my ass
The Jaetones: In the ass
Ricky Arnaz on the timbales
[Ricky laughs]
Get up on that sexy train
Sexy, funky train
Public radio
The Jaetones: Public radio
Is a train
The Jaetones: Is a train
Give that funky drummer some
The Jaetones: Choo choo
Woo
Marlon Simmons on the saxophone
What a filthy beast
If you know what I mean
Jump back
Come up on it
Push on back
Come on it
Rowdy Crowd: Aww
Public radio
The Jaetones: Public radio
Is a funky train
The Jaetones: It’s a train
Right across your brain
The Jaetones: Choo choo
Public radio
The Jaetones: Public radio
Is a funky train
The Jaetones: Move out the way
Right across your brain
The Jaetones: It’s a funky train, choo choo
[Crowd cheers]
Dougie Keats: Is it possible to have too much fun?
PM: Ha.
25. Closing Credits
PM: This has been Radio Encendido, episode 3: A Picturesque Slab of Concrete.
TG: Radio Encendido is written and performed by T. G. LaFredo—
PM: and Paul Metaxas . . . with special guests . . .
The Studio Cat: Meow.
Leanne Pettit: Vocals.
Jaelyn Denise: Vocals.
Lyanna LaFredo: Voices.
Sophia Rashkin: Voices.
Sonny Lamson: Piano.
Buttons: Arf.
Carlos Mata-Alvarez: Saxophone.
TG: You can find us at Radio Encendido dot com.
PM: That’s radio E-N-C-E-N-D-I-D-O dot com.
TG: You can also find us on social media, in taco shops, and on the sides of milk cartons.
PM: Special thanks to the employees of Super Mega Guitar Universe, Las Vegas (Vegas, Vegas), who wrote and performed the music you’re listening to right now.
26. Stinger: Cortez and Nugget
Nugget: Well, at least they didn’t talk as much as they did in the last episode.
Cortez: Look what we got instead. It’s not like the music was any good.
Nugget: Ugh. Somebody puked over here.
Cortez: We better check that leprechaun for a pulse.
Nugget: Howsabout we check for his wallet instead?
[Laughter]
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